Do vagina's smell?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
