I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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