i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
