dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
