Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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