I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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