you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
