Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
