I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
