you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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