Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
