Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
