We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
