omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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