I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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