i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
