At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
