There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
should my penis look like a turkey
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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