i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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