i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
