Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
