Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
