I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
