we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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