YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
