You work out of a Hotel?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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