I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
