dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
