I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
