Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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