just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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