As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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