Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
