just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
