5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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