Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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