Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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