I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
