Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
