Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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