my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
