i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
