If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
