in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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