my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
