you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
