I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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