He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she looked like the before picture.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
