that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
