Where are you?
In a non slutty way
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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