i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
