Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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